I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I enjoy the company of your penis
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