I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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