my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
