What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
