Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
