I'm gonna have a badass scar
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
