i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
