I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
