Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
