i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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