??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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