**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
