Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just google imaged poop.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
