i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
