Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
