He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
