The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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