He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize