i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
