i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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