WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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