I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
