In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
