That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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