so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
