I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize