You're my little dorito
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
