And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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