Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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