How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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