Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
