I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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