Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
