It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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