Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize