Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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