well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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