I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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