You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
