Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
