don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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