We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
