I wannas sexs uuuuu
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
