There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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