This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize