no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
