So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
