is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
