That's intense
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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