I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
