I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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