is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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