My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
