Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He shit in the fireplace
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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