I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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