Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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