Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Boobs speak an international language.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize