My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
