i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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