Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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