you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
